It’s been chilly and dark all day today, and I put a long sleeved denim shirt over my tee when I walked the dogs just now. I counted three maples with scarlet tipped leaves, and noticed all the hostas were completely bloomed out and turning brown around the edges.
If feels like fall and I’m not sure I’m ready.
Ordinarily, I love fall, and would consider it my favorite season. Mostly, it’s the fallish trappings that appeal to me…school supplies, sweaters, tangy apple cider, bonfires, new tv shows, mutlicolored foliage, crisp cool breezes…things that inspires you to nestle into your favorite chair with a thick novel, a soft blanket, and a dog or two for company.
But somehow, I’m reluctant to see it come this year. Perhaps it’s because last winter was so brutal, and I’m just not anxious for a repeat performance.
Maybe it’s because I’m not all that excited about resuming rehearsal schedules and church activities.
Mostly, I think it’s because this summer has been so traumatic. While you’d think that would be all the more reason to want it to end, I think I’m still hoping that some miracle will occur, time will reverse itself, and I’ll get the summer to do over without the sadness and loss that came with it. It’s as if with the arrival of fall, the terrible things that happened this summer will be irrevocably inmeshed in the season and therefore impossible to ignore.
But if there’s one thing I know after almost 54 years on the planet, it’s that time marches on and waits for no woman. It’s only August 22, but within the blink of an eye it will be Halloween (in fact, the candy and costumes are already on display in Target). Then Christmas will be here in a heartbeat, and another Long Winter will begin in earnest.
Oh, I’m not sure I’m ready.
Becca's Byline 
Oh, I’m hoping for a few more days of warm shelter, too, before the chill of winter hits. I’ve heard it’s supposed to be 80 on Monday… that’s good news, right?
Oh my God!! Candy and costumes already on display at Target??? I hate commercialism that pushes products on us way before the seaon.
Hi, Becca,
I have no idea how far north you are but I am startled by the account of scarlet tipped leaves. I am not ready, either. For countless different reasons, but I am not ready nonetheless. And somehow, this Fall doesn’t come with the innocence and hunkering down with a book that it usually would.
And still, we will find comfort in our books and blankets and our dogs (and I think I’m finally ready to get another one to keep our little “senior” beagle company) and the conversation over tea and candles.
Yes, the summer has flown by. It fled. Kind of from itself, in a way.
And then I look just to the right, where I’m typing this note to you and I see your dogs in the Flickr photos and I have to smile. Adorable!
And so we keep on. Take your time, though. Schedules, schmedules. Enjoy those walks.
I’m never ready for fall, I’m never ready to give up summer. The transmissions is always hard on me and my mood.
I’m sitting here (Boston area), sweaty and sticky, so I can’t even imagine the signs of fall you are noticing! A well written homage to the passage of time…
PS–Just catching up on a bunch of your posts, so I wanted to say that I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s job loss. Sending you both my thoughts.
Our season is behind yours, if that makes sense. It will be a few weeks before we see any color on the leaves, but everything in the garden is past its prime and there is no doubt that fall is in the offing. Even though our temps are still warm, something changes in the air that lets you know autumn is on the way.
Here’s hoping that the coming season is better than the last one was for you.
I’m definitely not ready. I don’t even feel like I’ve had a summer — just a long, very extended spring, much of which has been spent feeling far less than par. You’ve had more than your share of extra worries this summer, too. Yes, it always passes, we know this. But boy, wouldn’t it be nice to soak up a little more sun, a little more flowers, a little more long, lovely evenings (even a few) before the leaves turn (and way too early, I might add) and the rains come? Oh, wait. The rains are here…
BECCA, you said the dreaded C word. Nooooooo!
Dave and I will be doing rental clean up in the spring. We will sell and Dave will retire. Prayers already starting.
Kudos for teamwork! We are the opposite of you guys(me being perfectonist) and will probably quarrel. 😉
I know what you mean about time marching on. While I usually love fall, this year’s season will come with a painful reminder of losing a family member one year ago. Sometimes, you just want to stop the clock…
But I have to say your descriptions of fall were quite beautiful, Becca. You do a fantastic job of blending the external world with the internal landscape. Especially, blending beauty and sorrow; the inevitable change of seasons, of life.
IMHO, that’s a true talent.