Write Here and Now

I was busy packing my gig bag yesterday morning, tossing everything I thought might come in handy during a day of accompanying.   Music notebook – check.  Water bottle – check.  Novel to read during breaks between classes -check.   At the last minute I decided to toss in a blank notebook to update my things-to-do lists for the days ahead.  I remembered seeing one lying on our old desk in the basement, and grabbed it up when I went down to get clean socks out of the dryer.

After my first class, I grabbed coffee and a cinnamon raisin bagel at a nearby Einstein Brothers, and sat at one of the sunny outside tables to enjoy the spring breeze.  I flipped open the cover of the notebook, my thoughts already turning to the myriad items on my mind.  Groceries, garden supplies from Home Depot, a baby gift for my cousin’s little girl who arrived yesterday morning. 

To my surprise, the notebook was already half filled.  Glancing through the notations, I remembered this was one of the writing notebooks I kept a few summers ago.  There were ideas for blog posts, snippets of poems, quotes from essays on writing.   It reminded me of notebooks kept when I was a teenager, brimming over with passionate dreams and plans.

How sad, I thought – this notebook, once the repository of creative musings and ideas was being relegated to grocery and to-do lists.  When did that happen?

My “writing life,” such as it is (or ever was) has definitely taken a back burner to my “real life.”  I still write, here, and at Bookstack, but sometimes my writing seems without purpose, lackluster.  I don’t yearn for the page like I once did, and though I still have ideas aplenty, the words with which to impart them seem harder to come by.  Like any passion, the one I have for writing has cooled a bit and requires more tender loving care to fan its flame. 

But something inside eggs me on, refuses to consider giving up this space, the place to order my thoughts and play with words.  I still need it, I think, as a way to make sense of a crazy world fraught with change, a way to record my impression of life in general and my own in particular. 

A place to write – here and now, and in the days to come.

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9 thoughts on “Write Here and Now

  1. I’m so glad you continue to write, Becca, but
    I think a lot of writers feel this way at times.

    I sometimes think about giving up my blog. I don’t seem to have as much to say as I once did, but I enjoy the contact with other bloggers and continue to enjoy the experience. I’ll keep it for now.

  2. I don’t see my blog as a place where I must be creative, test writing skills, …. no pressure there. If I happen to be in a haiku mood for a couple of weeks, you’ll find lots of those and then months of nothing, ….If I’m tired for a couple of days I’ll be silent, when I watched a good tv show I’ll mention it and otherwise I just throw on some pictures.

    Don’t be frustrated about your own plans…if your priorities shifted, so be it, as long as you try to enjoy what you are doing.

  3. Do keep writing, Becca, your words are always so lovely (at both of your blogs). I spent the last couple of weeks ‘offline’ because I just did not have anything to say. It was a strange experience. So, if at times the world is too much with you, it’s alright. You are not alone.

  4. I was thinking about my writing life today– or the idea of the writing life. I often romanticize it, what “could be.” I realize I keep putting things in my path, taking on new tasks, perhaps subconsciously, to keep me from fully investing in the process. Fear of commitment, probably. Writing heals me, energizes me, is part of my purpose. I feel compelled to write because I enjoy telling stories, and most importantly, I feel like I have a story to tell. But it’s something I have to walk away from, at times, too. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember to come back. I have a few half-filled notebooks, too. 🙂

  5. I’ve never thought much about my notebooks until I read your reflection, but I’ve realized something that tickles me – a lot.

    I’ve never had a writing notebook, but now I have notebooks – probably three or four, because I never can find the last one and start a new one.

    They’re full of jotted-down titles, keywords, names, brief outlines of blog entries – but they also are filled with old grocery lists, phone numbers, personal reminders, notations on time or materials costs for work…

    My writing notebook and my life notebook are one and the same, and as I look back, I realize that’s what has happened. My life and my writing are so intertwined now that there isn’t a time I’m not “writing”, even if I’m only thinking about what I intend to write about.

    I love it, just as I love roaming around and reading what others like you have to say. I’m so satisfied right now – it’s an amazement to me!

    • A “life notebook” – yes, exactly! And that’s perfect because what I really love to write about is “life” so it all fits together, something like that crazy quilt in the closet 🙂

  6. Becca –

    But something inside eggs me on….

    I love what you say here – the “something” that eggs you on. It is this mystic ingredient that keeps us going….

    I find that having an INTENTION of writing is like turning the tap on. As I walk the morning I EXPECT something to happen. I keep a pencil and a piece of paper in my pocket. The paper is usually full of words upon my return.

    Perhaps writing has more to do with exploring, than having something to say?

    • Yes, I do believe writing has much to do with exploring and vision – being able to look at things from a certain, mystic perspective.

  7. Well, I for one am glad you are writing and writing right here! Maybe not all the stories or articles or ideas from your notebook — yet your writing is thoughtful, deep, and inspires me.

    Maybe it’s good you discovered that. Nothing wrong with the back burner, as long as what’s cooking on the front is either delicious, nutritious or necessary!

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