Like most children, my son always had a definite list of things he wanted for Christmas.  For a number of years, each holiday had us adding square footage to his Hot Wheels City, until it became a megalopolis that would put New York to shame.  Then there was the year he had to have a Brio wooden train (which was somehow never as much fun at home as it was in the toy shop).  As he grew, his heart’s desire turned to electronics – first cassette and then CD players, followed by computers.  One memorable Christmas, there was even a car, a 1993 Grand Prix covered with red ribbons, hiding in my mother’s garage.

If it sounds like we spoiled him, well, we did.  When your son is the only child of two only children, the only grandson on both sides of the family, you can bet he got pretty much everything he wanted.  I’m happy to say it didn’t hurt him a bit – he’s grown up to be a hardworking, responsible, generous young man.

This Christmas, my son is looking for a gift I’m completley powerless to provide.  He and his wife have their hearts set on having a baby, and, like many other couples, have found it to be a difficult process.  Last month, they traveled to Thailand (my daughter in law’s native country) to begin treatments with a fertility specialist.  And today, they take a very important next step in their journey toward having a family of their own.

No matter how old your children become, or how competent they are at handling their own life, it’s difficult to relinquish the desire to rush in and make everything all better, to fix the problems and insure they get whatever they need to make them happy.  When the problem is totally out of your control, the frustration level is immense, especially for a control freak like me.

So I’m putting all my energy into faith, into my belief that they are destined to become parents because I know their child would bring great gifts to the world.  

And what better season than this to believe in the miraculous power of birth?

Just believe.



11 thoughts on “Believe

  1. I too had difficulty with pregnancies (getting there was not a problem…just keepin it that way was however)…so I know the heartache of wanting so badly to have a child. Gratefully, I also know the joy of the miracle of giving life so I’ll be lighting candles for your family too. 🙂

  2. Becca, this is such a beautiful post, and I so relate to what you say about even when your children are grown, you never stop wanting to make everything all right for them. I am sending good wishes their way, too. I hope their dream comes true!

  3. Becca, I so understand on that desire to rush in and make everything right – it’s a Mom thing, right? Oh yes, we do believe in (mom) magic!

    I loved your picture in this entry. Crazy for candles, they represent light, belief, hope and love, it seems.

    Thinking good thoughts for you and yours!

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