Sunday Scribblings-Fearless

Fear. Less.

Disconnecting the word is the only way I can make sense of this week’s prompt.  Because I must admit to you that I’m consumed with fear these days.  And writing/reading all the platitudes about conquering your fears and taking risks and diving in with both feet will fall on deaf ears here at the Byline.

Rough words from me, I know.  Writing is usually the way I work myself out of fears, my method of rising above the things that frighten me.  But I’ve sunken into a fear-full pit lately, and not even words (my weapon of choice for all life’s dilemmas) can offer me the leg up I need to pull out.

“At the risk of sounding like an old fogey,” my mother (who just turned 81 but prides herself on “thinking young”) said the other day as we were driving to the market, “I do believe the world has gotten itself into the worst mess I’ve ever seen.”

Well, I do believe she’s right.  Countless businesses closing every day, homes and companies being lost to foreclosure right and left, while prices for necessary consumer goods continue to rise exponentially.  Health care costs soaring, making even basic medical treatment unaffordable.  People living longer and longer, but with deteriorating quality of life, spending their life savings to be warehoused in institutions.  And war, dragging on forever, costing young men and women their lives, and costing this country trillions of dollars.

It’s a mess.

And it makes me fear full.

So, on this second Sunday in April when winter seems to have returned once again, snow flurries falling from leaden grey skies, I would dearly love to fear less.  I want to stop being afraid about the falling equity in my home(s), the rising prices at the gas pump, grocery, and drug store.  I want to stop being afraid about growing older, about dementia and cancer and bone disease.  I want to stop being afraid this war will not only continue, but will escalate into additional conflict.

I want find a way to fear less. 

How about you?


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16 thoughts on “Sunday Scribblings-Fearless

  1. It is very scary in the world right now and I don’t want this for my grandchildren. I do have hope that this country will bounce back.

    Sending my CA sunshine over to you with loving hugs!

  2. Once again, we find ourselves in the same boat. I share your fears, and the logic and optimism I usually try to apply have not been working as of late. And so it goes until the tide turns.

  3. Those types of fears are only a moment away for most of us, I think. Those realities are so present, it would be very easy to focus on them – and maybe realistic, too, but for now I’m staying on the side of putting those fears aside … if that makes any sense!

  4. so how do we lessen fear? sometimes i think i do so by avoiding thinking about certain things. but certainly running away from reality just doesn’t work. fear is about the past and future, but never the present. maybe living right here and right now lessens fear?

  5. Becca,
    We have only this moment (I could have hav e a heart attack right now as I type)to enjoy or not. It truly is an individual choice. Whether we focus on the kids we know who have gone on to become successful in their adult endeavors, or the medical miracles of cataract lens implant preventing the blindness of old age, orthe lost wallet with an entire paycheck in cash in it returned by the young man who found it lying in the parking lot and so on and so on.
    The bad stuff in the world is no different than it ever was. But when we give it our undivided attention it sure can seem pretty dismal.
    Look for the silver lining and you’ll find it, I promise!

  6. I am burdened by the fearful mess we have made of the world and wish I had more years to tackle its problems. Your mother is right (and I am older than she is). We must act now against environmental disasters and political and economic injustices. And we must put aside (shove brutally aside) our own fears if we would put things right.

  7. As usual Becca, you write your thoughts and your feelings in such a way that I feel I can hear you speaking to me.

    Your mother is very eloquent and very wise. We are in a mess in this world. I pray that it doesn’t get worse before it gets better.

  8. Oh, Becca, how I hear you! There is something so comforting about reading all these comments here, and knowing that I’m not the only one who wakes up scared to death about a quarter of the time. The world IS in a mess, but I bet it always felt that way to people. I try to keep reminding myself, like Rel said, that there are many things that are better now than they ever were. And for me, what always works to heal me in this state, is really the writing. Even when I don’t think it will, even when it seems that words can do nothing, or that I feel blocked and frightened even there. It heals me. Think of that story from a few days ago, the one you were writing snippets of on programs and notepads and the bulletin from the church service 🙂 and I know you’ll come back to fearlessness. But thank you so much for this post, for its honesty and beauty. We’re all right there with you, in the alternating waves of fear and fearlessness.

  9. Thanks all of you for your support and thoughtful comments. As Sandi said, life is full of alternating waves of fear and fearlessnesss…I’m hoping we all ride this out safely!

  10. Tell it, gurl! That’s what sistas in my circle say. I thought I was the only one freaking out that butter is $3 and just traveling back and forth to work is costing me a real fortune. Honestly, have we come to having to rationing our daily traveling? I’m too young to retire and not old enough to reasonably believe Social Security will be available when I do.

  11. I wouldn’t say I am fearless about all the issues you have listed. But there are still so many wonderful things left in this world. And it’s only a matter of choice. Do you choose to be happy by contributing in your small way to make this world a more beautiful place, to put a smile one another’s face? Or Do you choose to continue living in fear?

  12. Fear and worry lead, inevitably, to fretting, which usually leads to insomnia. Which is why it’s a quarter past three and I’m awake.

    I’m not sure there are worse things in the world now, or if we hear about more on the news and now have the life experience to understand the jeopardy.

  13. Well, aren’t you the brave one, laying it on the line like that? You always hit the universal nail on the head. Getting older is a scary thing. Who wants to be a burden to their kids? No one.

    I love your mother’s line, “I do believe the world has gotten itself into the worst mess I’ve ever seen.” She knows how to put a fine point on it.

    I think the only fear of mine that you didn’t mention is the environment. That one really gets me. I’m just a worrier at heart. What can I say? If I’m going to worry, I figure I may as well worry on a grand scale.

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