Finis

Should you be wondering whether I managed to complete my gargantuan list of “must do” tasks at the office, I’m happy to reassure you that, yes indeed, through an effort of superhuman willpower, I did complete every report, letter and other sundry assignment (including collecting for and purchasing a group gift for my boss) right on schedule today at 12:00 p.m.

Yes!

And now, I can officially turn my attention to the business of holiday making. You see, I never seem to become fully cognizant of the fact that it’s Christmas until about three days before the actual day. Oh, you mean today is December 20th? That means we’re leaving here in two days, so anything I’m going to accomplish for Christmas festivities in Michigan has to be done – tomorrow?

Yes.

Well.

As I was blog surfing today, I read the words of a very wise woman who reassured me that it’s okay if I’m not in a “happy, elfin, north pole place” at this time of the year. I’m not alone, she reminded me gently, in the kind of sad, Eyyoreish place I tend to visit every December.

And then she gave me this advice:

“If you are to make this month bearable, or even good, you must try to be alone with yourself some — in a good way, not in a dour, isolated way. Doing that is the spiritual and psychological equivalent of standing up straight, with your weight evenly distributed on your feet. When you stand that way, no matter how hard the gales blow, you won’t fall.”

And of course, that’s what is lacking, what is always lacking for me – enough time to be alone with myself in a good way. As I write those words, I think you all must get tired of hearing me whine about my persistent lack of time. Why doesn’t she just fix her schedule, you’re probably thinking. Why doesn’t she just become better organized or change her life so she has more time?

That’s a good question.

But I can’t really answer it now – or even think about how to answer it – because tonight I’m visiting my aunt and uncle, tomorrow I will be hitting a bunch of stores helping get my mom prepared for being on her own for two weeks, picking up a few last minute gifts, wrapping things, doing laundry, checking in on my mother in law, and trying to figure out what/where/how to pack all the things I want to take with me.

And it may be that I actually have more time than I think, more time than most people have. But it also may be that I simply need more time – to be alone, to brace myself against the world. I crave simplicity and order, two commodities that seem awfully hard to come by in this 21st century world.

So I’ll be looking for some of that “good time alone” during the next couple of weeks when I’m in Florida, some time to stand straight with my feet firmly planted on the ground. But I’m not sure if I can put myself in that “elfin, north pole kind of place” this month, even thought it sounds like a good place to be.

Maybe next year.

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7 thoughts on “Finis

  1. Well, congratulations to you for finishing up THAT big marathon! It sounds like it went well.

    And I wouldn’t worry too much about sounding like you’re complaining — you’re not! You’re living life and describing it beautifully, which is an altogether different thing.

    Have a peaceful journey, and a lovely time at your destination.

    xo, BL

  2. Hmmm. I don’t know…a warm, sunny Florida kind of place sounds pretty good. Probably better than an “elfin, north pole kind of place”. I hope you’ll find the quiet, alone time you need to refresh your soul.

  3. Bravo on your accomplishments! And, as far as the rest, I bet you can also accomplish the time to stand firmly planted within yourself … maybe you’re already doing it – just in your own way. Peace & love, JP/deb

  4. Have a wonderful trip – to have Christmas in Florida sounds like fun! Say hi to Brian and Nantana. Wishing you all the most joyful of holidays and a bright new year. xo

  5. I had no doubt that you’d get all your tasks done..like me, you’re hard wired to get the job done.

    Enjoy the space and time the holiday gives you.

  6. I’m glad you got it all done, but do take the advice of that very wise woman you spoke of and give yourself some alone time when you get to Florida!! Even just 10 minutes can make a world of difference if you just sit and breathe!!

    You are not alone in this Christmas phobia!! Many have it and hide from it. I decided this year that I’m just going to try to make friends with it. And it seems to be working!

    Have a wonderful trip and rest and take care of you!!

  7. I usually read your blog on my phone, so I don’t comment as much as I should, but I had to log in and say YOU ARE NOT WHINY.

    That is all.

    I hope you have a wonderful, RELAXING time in sunny Florida! xoxo, M

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